Jonalysis

Bed bug specialist David Cain claims to wear leather trousers partly because they protect him from chemicals and bed bugs:

I also am a bit well known for wearing black leather trousers. Which is partly because they’re very protective clothing, if you’re going to be coming into contact with chemicals and nasty things all day, they protect your legs, and the second aspect is that it’s becoming a more acknowledged fact, but bed bugs don’t particularly like leather, because it’s a difficult material for them to climb up and therefore a good stamp of my feet before leaving the property and there is a very good chance that anything that’s hitchhiked onto my clothing will be left in the property to be dealt with.

If there were a risk that one might sprinkle chemicals on one’s legs, it would be smart to wear either inexpensive trousers that one can throw away if they become contaminated or trousers that one can clean easily and cheaply. Leather trousers are neither.

It also seems likely that a bed bug starting to climb up one’s foot usually ends up climbing on one’s skin inside the trouser leg, not on the trouser leg. In such a case, the slipperiness of leather does not matter.

David’s excuses to wear leather are unconvincing, but I must admit that they are imaginative.

My fondness for men wearing leather has often affected my decisions to watch a movie. As a teenager, I watched “Grease 2″ five times. Once the woman working at the ticket counter smiled and said, “Oh, it’s you again”. Well, I just could not resist the temptation to see Maxwell Caulfield in a leather outfit once more. “Grease 2″ was not a bad movie overall, as long as one considered it entertainment, not art.

I have not been equally lucky with all films. I based the decision to watch “Rollerball” on the poster of the movie alone. I should have been content with just looking at the poster. You see, the film was pure rubbish. A few glimpses of leather could not decrease the feeling that I had not gotten any value for the money I paid for the ticket.

Also the recent “Speed Racer” has men in leather. However, that is not a sufficient reason to watch the movie. Actually, I cannot think of a single reason why anybody should watch “Speed Racer”.

Almost anybody can create a movie like “Speed Racer” in an afternoon. You just have to recruit a little boy who likes video games, buy a crummy car racing game, ask the boy to play the game, and record everything that happens on the computer screen. You will understand what I mean if you bother to watch the trailer for “Speed Racer”. But do not bother.

The little eye candy that “Speed Racer” offers for a leather fetishist can be enjoyed by looking at still pictures and clips from the film. Watching the film itself is a waste of time. Really.

The most leathery character in the movie is Racer X. He is played by Matthew Fox.

In my opinion, Racer X’s headgear is amusing, and I do not mean amusing in a good way. It is like a swimming cap made of leather. However, little boys will probably find nothing wrong with the outfit of Racer X. They might even want one for themselves. And that is all that matters, because Racer X is a hero for little boys. Bigger boys prefer X-Men.

Keith is a journalist who follows the preparations for the Eurovision Song Contest in Belgrad. Keith told in his blog that in the semifinal, Stefan Filipović will be wearing black leather pants. Stefan represents Montenegro with the song “Zauvijek Volim Te“. So, it looks like we’ll be seeing leather in a third performance in addition to the two that I already wrote about.

The annual Eurovision Song Contest usually offers some eye candy for a leather fetishist. For example, in 1997 the Hungarian boy band V.I.P. performed in good-looking leather pants. The boys’ “choreography” consisted mainly of sitting on stools and swinging hands, though, but I guess one cannot have it all at the same time.

In 2007, Iceland sent Eirikur Hauksson to the competition. He performed in full leathers. Eirikur did not appeal to my taste, but the guitarists in his band did.

This year, the contest will be held in Belgrade, Serbia. Most likely some eye candy will be in store for us again. Leather will probably be seen in at least two performances.

Jeronimas Milius will represent Lithuania with the song “Nomads in the Night”. In the national final, Jeronimas performed in a white shirt and black leather pants. He has used this outfit also before, when performing as the vocalist of Soul Brothers. Hopefully Jeronimas will get rid of the rag that hangs from his hips. In my opinion, it is a strange and unnecessary accessory to this outfit.

The heavy metal band Teräsbetoni will represent Finland with the song “Missä miehet ratsastaa”. In the national final, the members of the band performed in leather pants and either in a leathery top or without a top. This has been the style of the band before, too. In my opinion, their leather gear is quite classy, at least judging from promotional photographs.

Teräsbetoni will perform in the first semifinal of the Eurovision Song Contest. It will be held on Tuesday, May 20, 2008. Jeronimas Milius will perform in the second semifinal. It will be held on Thursday, May 22, 2008. The final will be held on Saturday, May 24, 2008. The semifinals and the final can be viewed live via the Internet.

On April 15, 2008, countless television viewers were shocked. David Archuleta was singing “When You Believe” in the American Idol contest and he appeared to be wearing – gosh! – leather pants. Upset people vented their feelings in the Internet:

Why is he wearing leather pants?! – Jodi

You know who shouldn’t wear leather pants? Ever? David Archuleta, that’s who. – Donna

Some people aren’t meant to wear leather pants. David Archuleta, you are one of those people. - Morgan

If anyone was NOT put on this earth to wear leather pants, it was David the human plush toy. – Tracy

David wearing leather pants is about as natural as Simon wearing a turtleneck. – Idolblather

This is a Jesus Song! You can’t wear black leather pants while performing a Jesus Song! – Denise

What was up with the leather pants? Could this preppy kid be “bad” even if he paid someone to help him be a bad boy? I doubt it. – Gretta

Note to David Archuleta, no more leather pants! It’s not your style, leave the leather pants to David Cook. Your destiny is to be the new John Mayer of your generation, no leather pants are required. Be yourself and you will continue to be loved and adored by all, including me. – Kathy

What is with the black leather pants??? Not really into that look bud. Careful or the Queer Eye Guy will be watching… you! – Andy

I was bothered by Archuleta’s leather pants. – Tadontask

The black leather pants have got to go. – Ms. Crimson

Leather pants? Seriously? Someone should be fired for that. – Jennifer

On May 3, 2008, David Archuleta reassured the worried television viewers:

I actually wasn’t wearing leather pants Tuesday. – - – But I guess the pants I wore really shimmer on stage so… you know, they’re just, like, church slacks, up close and personal. I guess on camera they really shine.

Stylist Miles Siggins conformed the information: the pants were not leather but wool.

Did I hear somebody say “Oops…”?

I know, it is sometimes difficult to distinguish leather from other shiny materials. Was this one of those cases? You can judge for yourself by looking at a photograph taken of David Archuleta during his performance.

David Hiltbrand wondered whether anybody has ever seen anyone “wearing leather pants with a crease pressed in before”. I’m sure that by now, Mr. Hiltbrand has figured out why nobody hasn’t.

In the end, it is not very interesting that Jodi, Donna, Morgan and many other people could not distinguish slacks made of shiny wool from pants made of leather. What is interesting is the way they reacted to the thought of David Archuleta in leather pants. But that’s a subject for another post.