Jonalysis

A striptease performance entertains me if removing the garments increases the sexiness of the performer in my eyes.

Not all striptease performances entertain me.

There are hordes of men that I find sexier in clothes than naked. And I mean any clothes.

As a fetishist, I also find that the combination of some men and some clothes are far more appealing to me than those men without those clothes. In these cases, the clothes do not obscure the sexiness of the men: instead, the clothes enhance it. Removing the clothes would be a disservice to me.

In addition to striptease performances, I’d like to see dresstease performances. I’m not quite sure how one would go about dressing up in a particularly teasing manner, but I’m sure somebody would figure it out. One can already find videos of men dressing up in the Internet. For example, a certain video featuring a Portuguese biker gearing up in leather never fails to titillate me.

Perhaps a combination of striptease and dresstease would be even better. First, a guy would strip off plain clothes. Then he would put on exciting clothes. If I had my way, the guy would probably not be completely naked at any stage. I rarely find naked cocks and balls arousing.

In January 2005, the Details magazine published a feature “What’s sexy“. In the feature, fashion designer John Varvatos gave men eleven “rules of style”. One of them was:

Leather pants are not easy for a guy to wear. Suede is better because it’s not shiny.

From a fetishist’s point of view, Varvatos’ rule does not make any sense. At least for me, shine is one of the most important factors in the sexiness of leather. Sure, suede is leather, too, but not the kind of leather I’d get particularly excited about.

In spring 2008, Christer Hermansson and Finn Ljunggren toured Sweden. In their show, they promised to tell “everything that a librarian, a library assistant, a library manager, inexperienced or experienced, or a library visitor should know about the modern library world”.

As a part of their show, Christer and Finn performed the song “Varför har inte fler bibliotekarier läderbyxor?”:

Jag hade som vanligt det första infopasset
på vuxenavdelningen.
Det var en tråkig måndag och jag var väldigt trött.
Men då kom en ståtlig man, helt klädd i leder,
och han frågade mig ganska så plötsligt:

“Varför har inte fler bibliotekarier läderbyxor?
Varför har så många bibliotekarier jeans eller kjol?
Varför har inte fler bibliotekarier läderbyxor?
Är det för att bibliotekariernas löner är alldeles för låga?”

Jag visste inte riktigt vad jag skulle svara,
men till slut så sade jag som det var.
“Jag har flera par läderbyxor hemma i garderoben.”
“Det vore en bra service” sade mannen.

Varför har inte… osv.

När jag kom tillbaka till informationsdisken
i mina röda läderbyxor, så satt han fortfarande kvar.
“Det där är bra!” ropade mannen,
“Snyggt och får respekt.
En bibliotekarie ska alltid vara redo.”

Varför har inte… osv.

Varför har inte fler bibliotekarier läderbyxor?
Är det för att bibliotekarierna är alldeles för snåla?
Varför har inte fler bibliotekarier läderbyxor?

Translated into English, the lyrics of the song go something like this:

I had as usual the first shift at the information desk
of the adults’ department.
It was a boring Monday and I was tremendously tired.
But then came a handsome man,
dressed completely in leather,
and all of a sudden he asked me:

“Why do so few librarians wear leather pants?
Why do so many librarians wear jeans or a skirt?
Why do so few librarians wear leather pants?
Is it because the salaries of librarians are way too small?”

I didn’t quite know what to answer
but in the end I told how things were.
“I have many pairs of leather pants
in the wardrobe at home.”
“That would be great service” said the man.

Why do so few… etc.

When I returned to the information desk
wearing my red leather pants, the man was still around.
“That’s great!” exclaimed the man,
“looks nice and gets respect.
A librarian must always be ready.”

Why do so few… etc.

Why do so few librarians wear leather pants?
Is it because librarians are way too stingy?
Why do so few librarians wear leather pants?

The Aldrich Contemporary Art Museum is located in the state of Connecticut in the United States. Currently the museum exhibits photographs by Elizabeth Peyton.

The folks at Aldrich have come up with a clever idea:

Inspired by Elizabeth Peyton’s photographs of her friends in the art and music world, The Aldrich invites you to round up your posse as we roll out the red carpet with drinks, snacks, tours of the exhibitions, and the best music around. Discounted admission for those in leather pants, star sunglasses, or other rock star-inspired fashions.

This is your chance, the closeted leather fetishists of Connecticut! What a great excuse to wear your leather pants publicly!